What To Do When Sex Is Painful

Tips for dealing with pain during sex

Because sex can be painful for many reasons, and several factors could be causing the experience of pain during sex, finding the solution can be a bit like solving a mystery (a very painful mystery). Not all of these suggestions will apply to everyone, but here are some steps to take

Take notes. Try to figure out what?s going on. Ask yourself some questions:

• When did sex start to hurt (has it always hurt)?
• When does the pain begin (is it as you?re getting excited, only during penetration, related to orgasm)?
• Where do you feel the pain (is it in one specific area, or more general)?
• Are there still things you can do sexually that don?t cause pain?

Explore on your own. If you don?t regularly masturbate, now?s the time to start.

If you can masturbate without pain, that is both a helpful thing to know, but it can also provide you with much needed release while you figure out how to resume sex with your partner without it hurting. Using masturbation to explore sexual pain is particularly good because you don?t have to worry about a partner poking you the wrong way. You can be as gentle (or as rough) as you want to be, and you?re always in control. If penetration with your partner is painful, you may want to use a vibrator or dildo (with lots of lubricant) to explore penetration with masturbation, to discover if it feels the same or different.

Use plenty of lubrication. One of the most common reasons for painful sex is lack of lubrication. There are all sorts of reasons women experience vaginal dryness, but using a personal lubricant can be an easy and effective way to treat this problem and eliminate a major cause of painful sex.

Communicate with your partner. It can be difficult to talk about sex at the best of times, even for couples who have been together for years. When it comes to talking about a difficult sexual issue, the communication can get even trickier. But communication is key to resolving painful sex. Even if the cause is entirely physical, and will go away with treatment, it?s still important to talk with your partner about the pain you?re experiencing and figure out other ways for both of you to satisfy your sexual needs while you are getting treated. This can actually be one of the positives of experiencing sexual pain, it can force couples to break down communication barriers and eventually lead to a better sex life than before the pain was experienced.

Experiment with different sexual positions. For some pain during sex happens as a result of pressure on particular parts of the body. It may be putting pressure on certain joints hurt, or that penetration at a certain angle is painful. Try exploring different sexual positions, and see if this alleviates some of the pain.

Consult a doctor or other healthcare provider. If you can, in most cases it is worth talking with your doctor about this. Even if the problem clears up (or seems to clear up) pain during sex can be a symptom of other issues, and knowing this can alert your doctor to other questions they may want to ask.